You got married, now years have passed, maybe children have been born and time has been invested in the relationship. When should you call it quits? throw in the towel? and walk away from the marriage?
These are five important steps to consider;
1. Are the three definite signs that the relationship must end present?
What are the three definite signs you have reached the end of the road?
- There is abuse or unreasonable behaviour; It could be physical, verbal or emotional abuse. At any sign of abuse, you should be bolting out the door.
Do they act in a way that you are cannot be expected to live with them? Even the law recognises unreasonable behaviour as a sufficient ground for divorce.
2. Untreated addictions: Does he get drunk and start physically or verbally abusing you and the children? Is your partner suffering from any addiction that is detrimental to you, your children, and the marriage?
3. Has the marriage become an unsafe place to raise children.
These three signs are non-negotiable signs that the marriage has to end.
2. If there was infidelity, are they willing to work on the relationship?
After some years, marriages can flatline. Maybe they even cheated, or you did. Can you forgive and live with the betrayal of cheating or can your spouse?
Many marriages recover even after cheating. A quick example is Beyonce and Jay Z.
Is it something you both want to work on, not just you, but you two.
3. Are you both willing and committed to change and be better?
It is hard to stay married to someone who is adamant about hurting your feelings or ignoring your needs.
Perhaps you aren’t given enough attention, or they do not respect you as they used to, nothing will get better if their behaviour doesn’t improve and sometimes some people don’t want to improve or change.
4. Will the issue get better?
It isn’t every disagreement or argument that should make you call your lawyers.
Is the issue something that could get better in time? or it won’t and you cannot live with it.
What can you do to change the situation? What changes need to be made?
The best way to find out is to take your time.
5. Will your life be better without them in it?
If you can envision yourself happier, achieving your dreams, sleeping more and generally living a better life without them; it makes so much sense to end the relationship and pursue the higher good.